My Sammy Boy:
I don't know if you'll ever remember this, but you've maintained, for several months now, your intention to be a bachelor for life. The way you see it, marriage is disgusting: the last thing you need is another female in your life.
"What good's some girl, mom?"
"Well," I pause, "You know I'm just 'some girl,' don't you?"
"Well, yeah," you roll your eyes, "but I mean some random girl who thinks I'm just gonna kiss her all the time."
"What if you like kissing one day?" I ask and you fake a gag.
Then you shudder, shrug and say,"Sorry, Mom. No wife for me."
Explaining why one person would choose to live with another through this life is strange. And it isn't logical, is it? It seems improbable that two people could maintain a healthy, functional relationship "for as long as they both shall live." What can I tell you, man? It defies logic and, in some cases, just doesn't work out.
You're at an age where some of your friends come to school and talk about weekends with Dad or Christmas with Mom this year, and the whole thing is confusing.
The truth is, your Dad and I are just two people doing the best we can to journey through this life. We're choosing to journey together, not because we promised to ten years ago, but because we chose to this morning when we woke up. We will choose it again tomorrow. In every moment, we have to make a choice - am I alone in this or are we in it together?
I know this explanation may not satisfy your scientific brain, but we got really, really lucky fourteen years ago, standing outside a party on a brisk October night. Your dad forgot his coat but didn't want to leave the sidewalk, afraid to say goodnight to me without making some kind of move.
He's alot like you, Sam. His thoughts swirl and he's slow to speak. I offered to share my coat, and the rest is history.
We've fought and cried and there have been times we both forgot to choose us.
And we've remembered again and again.
I've heard it said that marriage isn't for the weak or faint of heart. And, through the years, I've had moments of great fear.
But I've never regretted my choice. Not once.
I can't tell you what life will look like when you read this note. I'm no fortune teller. But I hope you'll see love in these lines. You'll see I have no formula for this marriage thing. And if it isn't in your cards, I won't lament. I love you for now and always, regardless. I know you'll always have love in you life, because as long as I'm living, I plan to be the "some girl" who is always there.
But if you meet someone who makes you feel lucky to choose a journey with her or him, we can share a knowing embrace and rejoice at our blessings.
